Elizabeth Hinkler
Creative Writing
My Dog, Cassandra!
Ever since the beginning of time, there has been one consistent goal every child needs to attain. If not, that child will be blown into the depths of the seas, to a small underwater cave that smells like doom and unhappiness, and failure. But for me, this goal was of utmost importance, to me, a life or death situation- the top of the world or the bottom of the garbage dump. It was me against the human race of parents, and I had to stand my ground. I took a major gulp, and whispered for the 1,962nd time in my life to my dad… “Dog!”
I had to start back at the bottom of the garbage dump once again. P.U. And P.U. is what my parents say about dogs.
My very first breath out of the womb was my cry of dog. I needed one.
What I say to my parents:
“Mommy, Daddy, can I have a dog?”
Their response:
“When you are older, maybe.”
Clarification: No. Not ever. Not in one million years. Not in two million years. Not even after garbage dumps decompose. Never.
Katherine, my best friend, runs up to my sister and I after church saying she’s getting a dog.
“Ooh! Isn’t he cute? His name is Cooooodyyyy! Don’t you just looove him? He’s mmmmmine!”
“Oh yep. That is one fine dog.” In my head, I grumble,
“Too bad he’s uuuuglyyy!”
My Fantasy Dog:
Cassandra Maybelle Hinkler.
Today Cassandra was sent to me in the mail. Right away I fed her some cocoa puffs and the marshmallows from Lucky Charms. We dressed up in genie sparkle outfits and then all over town with her new bedazzled collar and leash. My parents gave me that, along with matching tiaras for Cassandra and I!
The history of dogs according to my dad:
“Well, when I was young, my parents gave me a dog and it peed in my bed. It vacated the area the next morning. I have never had a dog since.
Maybe make these fit better into the flow of things? I like it, just don't rly know where they came from. "I had to start back at the bottom of the garbage dump once again. P.U. And P.U. is what my parents say about dogs.
ReplyDeleteMy very first breath out of the womb was my cry of dog. I needed one."
I like the sense of humor in this! A lot! The structure is very unique, too. Could be a bit more clear, but I still get the main idea.
Can't wait to read the rest!
I would put:
ReplyDeleteP.U
And P.U is what.....
(So have P.U as it's own paragraph!)
Alsooo, if Katherine said she's getting a dog, and then she says, "he's cute and his name is Cody" then maybe you mean that she already has Cody as her dog... ??? Do you get what I mean? Maybe don't put this title: My fantasy dog... because it (in my opinion) would be oober cool if you just started in acting like it was your real dog and you were really feeding it marshmellows... ya know? So you could say, "my dog:" or "my new dog" or "cassandra" or something like that! Great job though and I most def see your personality in this!!! Hurray!!! You are a goose! -Emily H